2012 has seen plenty. In summary: the world’s sudden urge to stop Joseph Kony, Call Me Maybe, the Olympics, Romney jokes, Gangnam Style and Hurricane Sandy. And while these seemingly newsworthy events and fads graced headlines and the Internet, it’s our duty here at Spin or Bin Music to go unconventional and name those who really should be given attention (or not) for making music (at least that’s what they call it) that’s unpleasant (to say the least) to the ears.
It was the very first time I had listened to ANY of the following songs, therefore eliminating the possibility of bias due to excessive airplay. Based on the original 16 songs that were submitted by my fellow contributors, the general trend seemed to be oversexed themes and lyrics that was at times, “horrendous, carelessly written, and whoever wrote it should feel bad, because it's bad. Gross.”
Lyrics that the “musicians” weren’t even responsible for. Also, is that electronic element really necessary in every song? Bearing these in mind, below is a compilation of 2012’s worst songs. Top 10 Worst, if you must.
10. Madonna – Girl Gone Wild
Aged 54, Madonna somehow managed to stand out with her inherent desires to live her teenage dream of being a Girl Gone Wild. Easily catchy with suitable synths although I doubt Girls Gone Wild would do more than say “Hey, ey, ey, ey.”
9. Justin Bieber – Boyfriend
As much Bieber’s vocals have improved since Baby, what could “Swag swag swag on you” possibly mean? Crooning “swaggy” doesn’t make a single difference; I can still hear you and Shakespeare just turned in his grave. Somebody arrest him. #GrammarHitler
8. Brandy ft. Chris Brown – Put It Down
As if the Nicki Minaj-esque backdrop wasn’t bad enough an introduction. A track that’s tad too produced that possessed an unnecessary contribution in the form of Chris Brown.
7. Justin Bieber – As Long As You Love Me
So this is Justin Bieber’s big dubstep leap. Then again, even ten-year-olds are telling Skrillex, “Hey, I'm making dubstep”. Quoting electronic dance fulcrum Deadmau5, “(Bieber) didn’t know shit about (dubstep) until it was all over Kmart thanks to f**cking Skrillex, and now you f**cking want to just be that, because it appeals to a large percentage of f**cking fans you wouldn’t otherwise have”. How about stacca-no.
6. One Direction - Live While We're Young, One Thing, (their general discography, really)
Perhaps 2012’s most overrated villains. One Direction proves to be a bunch of haircuts with seemingly pretty voices incapable of writing their own shallow (however catchily repetitive) songs, a shallowness reflective of the majority of the fan base who mindlessly encourage such sacrilege.
5. Flo Rida – Whistle
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t laugh out when I first heard (and appreciated) Blink-182’s Blew Job (or the one with the dog, for that matter). So perhaps Flo Rida should have been less subtle?
4. LMFAO – Sorry For Party Rocking
Looking for moronic, chauvinistic lyrics and groan inducing instrumentals? Look no further because LMFAO’s insincere apology of a song is here!
3. Nicki Minaj – Pound The Alarm
There is no doubt in my mind that Nicki Minaj sounds like she can actually rap (but maybe not sing). But perhaps without the alarming amount of autotune or excessive electronics to the point of it sounding thrashy. What’s up with “Music. Makes. Me High”, like, really?
2. PSY – Gangnam Style
I couldn’t care less if it currently has the most number of hits on YouTube. Since when has Kpoop been considered actual music when the only decipherable ENGLISH lyrics are “Eh sexy lady?” It is what it is, an Internet sensation, but to perceive it as music should be blasphemy.
1. Nicki Minaj - Stupid Hoe